Wow. Could you get some words please?

We're soundly in the phase where my girl needs more words. She has taken to screaming a lot since I got back into town. Really painful screaming. I'm using words back with her, asking her to use the few signs that she knows... But she will fall into a ball of tears and an on-the-floor tantrum if I can't figure out what she's asking. It's rough. I know it's hard when you can't communicate. I'm thankful she isn't hitting the floor with her head or doing any real physical damage to herself. But add in a tantrum across the dinner table from her brother at the same time... It's mind-bending stress.

But along with the screaming communication, Jordan's getting braver with holding my hand and walking. It really is stunning how she walks better when she's anywhere other than our house. She walks better outside, inside a tent and at my cousin's house.

Randy put our new tent up in the backyard -- Going inside totally freaked Jordan out and then suddenly it was the coolest place around. She started walking around me and there she was: Standing. It lasted about 5 seconds. I'd have to say it was the longest standing moment I've seen with her. I have a meeting with our First Steps coordinator on Friday along with Jordan's occupational and physical therapists. Hopefully we'll be able to get our PT into Jordan's classroom on an intense level for the next month or two. Her PT thinks focused time with Jordan away from me will be very productive and help push Jordan into walking full time. I keep thinking that she isn't as fearful about her safety as Cam was because she's willing to climb stairs... But I watch other kids learning to walk and I realize she really likes things the way they are. She doesn't like pushing herself into something new physically. That's why it took her so long to notice her little arm when she was 4 months old. That's why it took her so long to sit or sit up by herself. Why do I have kids that are worried about their physical safety? It's strange.

Anyway. Here comes another week... Crazy schedules and all kinds of juggling between work and kids. Standard stuff and I'm tired just thinking about it. Did I mention I had a sinus infection last week? The drugs make me tired and a little dizzy. Oh well. Just another hurdle to jump over.

Taking a stand

As I had mentioned earlier this week... I didn't take many pictures of the kids over the weekend. But this one makes me proud. She stood up at the door all by herself. She wanted to watch her brother while I cooked dinner.

It's sweet because she chanted: "Dog! Dog!" And "Bubba! Bubba!" Who knows if she was calling to Bubba the dog or trying to say "brother." Probably both. She loves them both a lot.

Classic weekend

Although daddy wasn't around this weekend, I have to say we had a really good time. It was one of those weekends where I focused so deeply on the kids, that I didn't even think of finding the camera. I pulled out the camera phone a couple of times.

We were outside or doing something all day. Church, Sunday school, napping, playing, shopping and we even spent some great time at the library. Jordan was scooting and pulling up on all kinds of things. The big shocker for me: She pulled up into a couple of little kid chairs. It was cool. Of course, I was reveling in her sitting skill when she suddenly lunges forward to touch the table... but the chair wasn't pushed in. So she head plants into the little table. Fortunately, it was a rounded edge table. I caught her before she fell on her face, but she'll have a bit of a bruise there. It's so hard to not hover over her. She has to learn her boundaries. But watching her bump and bruise up isn't fun. Cam went through it too. This isn't a new experience for me. But it's never fun to watch!

By the way. The girl LOVES oranges. You should have seen her tear though them at church. It was especially fun to hear a parent say: "I wish my child ate like that."

She stood up!

After months and months and months of encouraging Jordan... Today, I walked into her room to say good morning and I watched her stand up in her crib. SHE STOOD UP!!

I'm so proud. I picked her up, spun her around and read her all of her favorite books.

Great day

Jordan did such a fantastic job in therapy today. She climbed up and down the little step between the living room and the foyer many times with her arm off and on. AWESOME! She's getting braver and braver! It makes me so proud to watch her. We figured out how to get her to do that: Food. That motivation helped us really get her moving today. And she didn't cling to me. She was independent and happy to move.

At school she did okay -- But didn't sleep well again. I'm hoping she'll figure out how to make it work. Last week she pulled of 2 hours of sleeping one day.

When we got home, Jordan cooed and babbled during dinner. Then she climbed all over Randy, the coffee table, Cam's little desk and the couch. She was moving from one location to the other. She was getting up and down. It was so great to watch her happily explore, that I let her stay up a whole hour past her bedtime. Hopefully that won't hurt her mood tomorrow!

Making the move

So I'm still angry at Jordan's school. Very angy. The director was at school on Friday and I gave her a chance to make excuses for the entry of a new baby in the toddler room BEFORE Jordan. I understand the child arrived earlier than expected, but I'm still confused why there was room for this child in the first place. The school director's excuse: There was an ill child every day. Sure there was.

Long story short, after I sat in her office unhappily, she told me Jordan would start either next week or the one after that. I told her I expected Jordan to move on Monday... She tells me that will be up to the teachers if they think she and the "other babies" are ready. Who gives a darn if the other babies are ready. Jordan has been ready for a month. A month.

When I got to school last night, it was official. One of Jordan's new teacher told me they expected Jordan to make the official move on Monday. Nothing different for me, just a different room for Jordan. That kind of makes me sad because I'll miss Jordan's old teachers. I miss the cuddly feeling of the room. I'll miss the love and devotion she was given there. But Jordan needs more encouragement to move. She needs to be around kids who can physically do things that she needs to learn.

Today she got new inserts for her shoes. It forces her toes to stay on the ground when she stands. She relies on her toes as sensory sources, so when she stands she tries to keep her toes up. Not great on her ankles and not great for her balance. She wasn't too happy about the insert addition. But she stood a good amount today. I still can't get her to pull up enough. What will be really interesting is if the new room will really help encourage her to stand up and move.

I was pondering some heavy issues after I watched this movie:

(if you can't see it, go here)

It kills me to watch that little girl identify herself with that baby doll in a negative way at such a young age. It just shows what our culture does to us... Even young girls. And I immediately worry about Jordan and how she feels about herself. She is so confident as a toddler. She knows what she wants, she isn't afraid to tell us... She is loving and happy. I want to bottle that up and make sure she has that feeling forever. But watching this short movie just makes me worry and wonder what I can do to help my daughter's self esteem BEFORE there's reason to be concerned.

Who is that?

I dropped Jordan off in her room today... And as I walked out, there was a new little girl sitting at the table in the bigger kid room. I was a bit confused about that... And kept walking. I didn't say anything... But I looked for the director of the school as I ran off to teach a class. She wasn't there. I was steamed... But maybe I was confused.

So I went back to visit Jordan for a little while in between working out and returning to the newsroom. That's when I noticed that there really was a new girl. She was standing at the door to the little baby room. I asked what was going on with the parents when one of the teachers said: "We never had her start day in the computer system. It's just a mess." Of course that wasn't a good enough excuse. Jordan cries every time a baby drinks from a bottle and won't eat big kid food... because the other babies eat from jars. She needs to move into the bigger room so she can have more encouragement to pull up and try to walk. She's trying harder and harder to do just that.

So I was unhappy. Very unhappy. So I went to the owner of the school since the director is out of town. Apparently this child showed up without anyone knowing she was coming. It's still not cool that she was placed in that room before Jordan. He said he was certainly going to look into it and get Jordan into the room -- and he kind of said next week. The whole thing I thought we were waiting on was the arrival of a new teacher -- and that happens on Monday next week. If that is the case, I expect the move to happen on Monday.

So I was livid. Hopefully this will be fixed. But this isn't the first time I've felt slighted by the school. It's like I'm so nice that I get ignored or passed over on things my kids need or deserve. That stinks.

Getting closer

Jordan worked SO hard on standing up skills today. She is standing up onto things and just standing along furniture better. Today, I plopped her down on multiple different spots and she would stand there... Even the chairs in the kitchen. It's very exciting.

During our therapy today, we've decided that Jordan needs to wear more solid shoes to help prepare her for a foot insert. Why? Because Jordan lifts her toes when she is standing... And it could really hurt her ankles if she keeps it up. So this week we're going to just get used to wearing her Nikes and next week, we'll start wearing the insert.

I'll do my best to try and capture some video of Jordan's toes in action.

Talking up a storm

Matching girls
Originally uploaded by Jen Reeves.

Jordan is picking up words by the minute. Tonight she told her Daddy: "Night night." Her vocal cadence repeats some of my sentences. And she's catching a little temper. If she wants Mommy cuddles and I put her down, she is not afraid to throw herself onto the floor and cry. I know the cuddles will go away someday, but I have to get things done from time to time, so she can't be in my arms all the time!

She's so smiley and happy at school and at home. She gets to excited to see family members. When Dad came home tonight, she was chanting "Hi da da." It's awesome.

She's trying harder and harder to pull up. Today, she was more comfortable standing (but you have to put her into a standing position). For the first time, I saw her stand along the couch and hold onto it with one hand... and not standing very close to the couch. She was doing pretty good. She had her prosthetic on at the time so I wonder if it was giving her extra balance. I'm torn about what to do with her growing skill of pulling up. She has such a hard time moving up with her prosthetic. I can't figure out what will help her learn how to pull up in the best way. Should I let her go prosthetic-free more often? Should she wear it less? But then there's this challenge: Her feet. When Jordan plays with toys without her prosthetic, she uses her little arm to hold things. When she's wearing it, she pulls out her left foot and gets just about everything done that way. I just can't get her to use the prosthetic arm with her big arm. It's tricky.

Breaking news

When Randy and I weren't looking, Jordan pulled up into standing all by herself onto a big block toy. This is a picture of the toy. I bought it for Cam when he was little... And he never really took a serious liking to it. But Jordan digs it... And here's a funny thing: Cameron really likes it a lot now that he's 4 and a half. Anyway. Jordan pulled up so she could look inside the square compartment. Big freaking deal. Then Randy thinks Jordan tried to take a step to me. But I think he was seeing things.

Either way. The girl is rapidly figuring things out. I'm thrilled and I'm really happy I've found a toy that she can use to pull up and keep practicing the skill.