That was kind of wierd

I took Jordan to the grocery store today. Just as we were walking in I noticed a table of Girl Scouts selling cookies. That was no big deal, but I immediately recognized my OB-GYN who almost delivered Jordan (she kind of flew out on her own... seconds before my doctor ran into the room). Anyway. I sort of never went back to the doctor after Jordan's birth. I was really unhappy about the fact that no one noticed a missing arm in the ultrasounds. I felt a bit pressured from some family members to stay away from that practice. I just kind of backed away from the medical community for myself and focused on finding the right care for my girl. So today was the first time I've seen the doctor in almost two years (she met Jordan once when she was four-months-old). I was polite and Jordan was NOT interested in saying hi. I'm guessing Jordan felt my discomfort.

For some reason that meeting made me feel a little raw.

This doctor didn't really have a thing to do with Jordan's difference, but she put me back to that place where I first felt lost and unsure about my little baby. Of course that little baby has turned into an amazing little girl who struggles to get those pull-ups on and has mastered putting on Velcro shoes. I shouldn't feel like I felt two years ago. That OB-GYN shouldn't stir that up in me... And yet she did. Damned brain.

Interesting experience

So I was helping edit video for a conference this past week. Yesterday I had to bring Jordan in with me for a little while. She came in while a panel discussion was underway. Every once and a while, she had to babble about how happy she was with her apple slices. I'd shush her and hand her milk to drink. It was sweet. She was so happy and smiley in her stroller. I was able to keep working. It was great.

At the end of the panel talk, I went to the front to talk to the conference attendees and Jordan could hear my voice. So I said hi to her and mentioned that my daughter was in the room. So all kinds of people had to come over and say hi. Miss Smiles was putting on quite a sweet show. People said hi and moved on.

A couple of people came back to play with her more (after they opened up the cash bar). And eventually some of them were willing to ask about her arm. I had been commenting on how awesome she was doing with her walking skills. That's when one of the guys (it was all guys, I don't know why, but that seemed strange) said that other people were whispering "she doesn't have an arm!" And he said how strange it was to see people walk away instead of ask questions. Our culture is so scared of differences. I'll be honest. I'm not sure how I would have handled meeting a baby with a missing arm 15 months ago. Probably the wrong way.

I honestly see my ability to raise Jordan as publicly as possible will not only help her feel more comfortable in this perfectionist world, but it will also help inform so many people that you don't have to look "perfect" to be wonderful.

Today Jordan had her 15 month check up. She's 21 pounds, 8 ounces. She's 30 and a half inches long. 25th percentile on weight. 50th percentile on height. She's doing just great. I'm still shocked to have the skinny baby. Cam was a monster!! Jordan had three shots this morning. It was the first time she didn't handle it well at all. Poor baby. I took the band-aids off tonight and she cried like I just gave her the shots again. It was miserable. I just cuddled and snuggled her and sang her a lullaby before she went to bed.

Happy Birthday Jordan!!!!

Today may not have been the most fun of birthdays... We spent the day driving home from Florida. I think we made up for it by going to Disney the day before Jordan's official day. The moment we got there, Jordan was treated like a princess. She was wearing a birthday girl shirt... Someone noticed and told us to go to city hall. So we were able to get Jordan a pin that said: "Happy Birthday Jordan!" Anytime a person who works at Disney noticed that pin, Jordan got cool things: Like stickers or Mickey glitter... Heck we even got an extra "Fast Pass" to the Stitch adventure ride. I remember going to Epcot a couple of times for my birthday was I was in elementary school... But I certainly don't remember getting a pin and getting extra-special treatment from Disney "cast members."

Anyway, Jordan was an awesome Disney World girl. She napped in her stroller, she smiled and waved hi to strangers, she gripped onto me tightly on the Buzz Lightyear ride. And she started picking up words. When we first got there, Cam said the name Goofy, Jordan said: "Goofy." We never got her to say it again, but it was cool for that moment. She did say "Yay!" a bunch of times. But for most of the time, she just smiled, said hi and giggled at her brother. It was pretty awesome. We had a dinner lunch at Disney where Jordan got a cake. The wait staff announced Jordan's birthday and asked everyone to blow her a kiss. It was very sweet. She wasn't very interested in the cake though. I'm guessing it's just because she was tired. But when she licked the icing, she made a big face! We have another cake planned for her at Grandma and Poppy's house, so we'll see what happens.

When we were driving towards home today... I watched the clock and kept thinking moment by moment about what was happening one year ago on this day. At 5:06 we sang "Happy Birthday" in the car to Jordan. She was pretty tired at the time, but seemed to appreciate the song. This picture is one of the many I took while she and I played in the back seat of the van. I can't believe what a sweet and happy girl Jordan has become in the last year. She and I have spent so much time together... As I fed her and watched her grow... As I took her from appointment to appointment... As we learned how to hit every possible milestone in whatever way it took. My big girl is amazing. I've said it many times before, when Jordan was born, Randy and I were at peace with the challenges ahead. But I seriously believe that Jordan can and will do anything. She might have to do it differently, but she is amazing and has found a solution to everything. She is also so flexible and willing to go with the flow. She has dealt with so many therapy appointments, doctor's appointments, family trips and needs... Even loud kids in the baby room. She maintains a happy attitude and a willingness to play and enjoy life. And she LOVES her brother. The one thing that was proven time and time again during our holiday trip was how Jordan LOVES her brother. The way he makes her giggle and how she would play with a piece of dirt if Cam was playing with it first. She loves that boy with all of her heart. Our family is so blessed. The cool part about Jordan's limb difference is how we've been able to meet new families, get to know new communities and have a better understanding about how being "different" is okay. And an amazing benefit to Jordan in our life is how we're learning how being around different people doesn't have to feel different. That may be one of the greatest gifts for all of us. When I think about my family and how lucky I am to be a part of this, I want to cry. I feel blessed and lucky to be the Mom who can guide Cam and Jordan into happy and caring lives.

Happy birthday little girl! I can't wait to see the amazing things you are going to do in the next year.