I decided to start blogging about Jordan from the moment I found out I was pregnant. Jordan was born with a little arm that didn't grow like most babies. Her left arm stopped just above the elbow. Now I'm committed to making sure Jordan gets everything out of life. We feel blessed to be the parents of a very special little girl.

3.26.2006

Dear Jordan,

Big happy smileThank you for these last 12 weeks. It's been so special to focus my life and time on you... And to share you with so many people: Family, friends, students, faculty and tons of strangers who would have never talked to me before if I didn't have you.
I have learned how deep love is. I've watched your brother turn into a gushy love bug over you. He says the sweetest things about you even when he's mad at me. Your daddy and I love you both so much it hurts. I've watched so many of your family and your new friends take all kinds of time and energy to make sure you have the very best life. I'm amazed by how many people have taken extra time to help you or find out information that will help us all understand what you need to grow.

It's amazing how much I have learned in this short time with you. I have learned acceptance, I have learned that people still stare and whisper... But most of all, I have learned that I don't care what other people think. I know you are beautiful and amazing. I can't believe you were strong enough to survive whatever happened to you in the womb. God made sure you would be with us and I know God knew we would love you and give you everything the world offers.

I have to be honest. I'm a little scared to get back to the life I led before you were born. You've changed my priorities. You've made sure I understand the importance of family. I know how my job excites me and I know I'll be happy to be back to it. But I'm scared to let go of all of the time we have been able to spend together. I know you'll be fine. But I'm jealous. I want to keep enjoying every second we've had together.

So when I wake up in the morning with you tomorrow, things will change. I don't think you'll notice it too much. I pray you don't notice. But as we venture into a working mommy's world, I hope you forgive me when I make mistakes or fall asleep. I promise to give you as much if not more love in the many years ahead.

Love,
Mommy

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hugs to you both. I know how hard that day is. That letter will bring tears to her eyes some day. Like I said before, she is a very lucky little girl. You guys handle every challenge with grace. This will be no different.